


Fear of the Water

by Sarcxstic_Stilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on a song, Break Up, Broken Heart, F/M, Gen, Sad, its just sad :(, syml
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-20 15:09:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13720299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarcxstic_Stilinski/pseuds/Sarcxstic_Stilinski
Summary: You loved him for so long. The two of you were the cutest couple until it all faded away. He didn't love you anymore, and it hurt more than you thought it ever would.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [all the angst lovers](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all+the+angst+lovers).



> what's up. this is from my tumblr @sarcxstic-stilinski :)

* * *

 

[THE SONG OF THE CHAPTER](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T4THwne8IE)

* * *

 

 

To say I was hopelessly in love with Scott would be an understatement. The two of us had been happily together for almost two years, almost everyone commenting on how cute the two of us were. He was everything I could have ever wanted and more. He was pure, but I was tainted.

The creatures that constantly plagued the streets of Beacon Hills had me hurt and hurting others on more than one occasion. The night I killed someone was a night that would constantly haunt me. It was on accident. I was a werewolf, and when the Deadpool came around, I was immediately a head target. The girlfriend of a true alpha would bring the alpha with her, and I was almost immediately sought after.

Soon, I found myself in the hands of two hunters, trapped between them. My claws were out as I snarled at the two of them, standing my ground, protecting my home. The two looked at each other and grinned before they moved quickly, wrapping a wire around my throat and pulling harshly. I was clawing out helplessly when the male started taunting me, standing barely two feet away as he spoke.

I could reach him.

I grabbed his leg and pulled him down, catching them both off guard. The girl loosened her hold on the wire as she gasped. I used the opportunity to pull it off, throwing it across the yard. I was panting as the man scrambled to his feet, shouting curse words at the girl.

I was about to stand up when I felt his arms around my neck, choking me and pressing onto the marks they had left earlier that had not healed yet.

I did it without thinking. I grabbed him and threw him across the yard, and before I realized what I had done, I heard a sickening crack and looked up to see him dead, mouth open as his back was snapped along with his neck. The girl let out a scream before running away, and all I could do was stare, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

I cried that night. I cried harder than I thought I ever had.

I didn’t mean for that to happen. I was trying to protect myself and my home.  _I was trying to protect my house and my home._

Stiles found me an hour later, crying harshly as I crouched over the man’s body. I may have never known him before the terrible encounter, but he was still a person, a person with a life that I had just taken away.

Stiles pulled me away, asking questions upon questions as I sobbed loudly. Stiles knew it was an accident. He knew I never meant any harm, but Scott didn’t believe me. He didn’t believe that I did it on accident. He didn’t believe in  _me_.

That led to the night of the breakup. Things were finally going okay again. It was like nothing had happened, and everything was alright, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t the same. I never noticed how Scott couldn’t look me in the eyes after, even when I showed him that my eyes were still the same vibrant yellow when changed, not the blue that said I had taken an innocent life. I didn’t see how anytime I wolfed out at an enemy, he would almost immediately pull me back, trying to calm me down as if I could hurt them. I didn’t see how he didn’t love me anymore – not like he used to.

The night we broke up was a usual night. I had my arm around his waist as we laid in bed, but tonight, he was tense. He hadn’t been able to focus all day, and I was worried. The worry peaked when he slowly sat up, making me sit up in the process.

He spoke in a soft and gravelly voice as if trying not to break me with the next words that came out. “I think we need to break up.”

I stared at him quietly, trying to process the new information. “What,” I questioned, my eyes watering as my voice quivered, “is this some sort of sick joke, Scott? What are you talking about? I thought we were fine. What happened?”

“I-“ Scott tried to steady his voice. “I don’t love you anymore.”

Those were the words that broke me. I didn’t notice him standing up to leave. I barely recognized what I was doing as I screamed at him, asking him what I did wrong, asking him what I could do to fix this, pleading for him to stay, but he slipped from my grasp swiftly, and he walked away.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t keep living this lie as if I’ll ever be able to love you like I used to. I knew we’d been falling for a while, but then you killed him, Lily. You killed him. I thought you were different, but you weren’t. I’m sorry.” Those were his last words to me as he walked out, not even glancing back to the open door with me standing in the middle. I was alone in this dark, dark place, and he would never come back.

After that day, I refused to leave my house until Stiles had to physically drag me out of it, stating that I still had to graduate. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to see him grin as if nothing happened. I didn’t want to see him with another girl. I didn’t want to see him.

Yet, I ended up in front of the school in blue jeans and a loose hoodie, trying to avoid the entire school population. I was still a mess, but I had showered and eaten like Stiles told me to, and he drove me to school before running off to his girlfriend. I didn’t mind. He had more to care about than me.

I had managed to not make any direct human contact until I saw  _him_. Scott was across the hall, his arm wrapped around Kira as they laughed happily. I sucked in a breath as he bent down to press a kiss to her lips, our eyes locking as he did so. He froze as I did, but he couldn’t do anything as I ran away, tears filling my eyes.

I loved him; I still do. I can’t see him with someone else. It hurt. It hurt more than I thought it would.

Stiles caught me the next corridor over, his hands on my shoulder as he steadied me so I wouldn’t fall over. I wrapped my arms around him as I cried, trying to calm myself. “I can’t do this, Stiles. I can’t do this. Why would you make me come here,” I screamed at him, pounding on his chest as anger filled my body at the scene I had seen.

Stiles calmed me, pulling me out of the hallway and into a classroom so I would be away from prying eyes. He helped me relax before calling Malia for help getting my home. Malia helped pull me out of the classroom, and I was soon in the back of Stiles’ jeep as the two talked hurriedly in the front.

I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want to feel anything. He was gone, and I knew it, but I didn’t want to believe it.

I felt a hand run through my hair and slowly looked up to meet Lydia’s gaze. She pushed her fingers through my hair, comforting me the best she could. I didn’t notice when she had joined the three of us, but I didn’t care. I needed all the comfort I could get.

She moved to where my head was in her lap while her hands carded through her my hair. I could feel Malia staring at me with a worried look. I didn’t want to think about it. I wrapped an arm around myself and slowly fell asleep.

It took me a long time to get better. Countless nights, I cried myself to sleep, thinking about what I could’ve done. I loved him, and I don’t think I’ll stop. He was my first love. He was my everything.

He moved on from me so easily, quickly getting into a relationship with Kira. I could barely look at another boy without comparing him to Scott, comparing the looks and actions as if it would help at all.

I could barely take a dip in the water, but he dived headfirst, leaving me behind like I was nothing.


	2. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet. Scott missed a wonderful opportunity, and now he has to live with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's real short. I'm trash  
> also, it's a female reader. sorry.

It took years to get over Scott, but I don’t think he’ll ever be truly gone. Soon, I was moving out of Beacon Hills, and into college. There, I found my lover, a handsome man with a kind heart, aware of the supernatural world as he was a werewolf.

After we met through a history class we had to take, we quickly hit it off, and he took me out on a date to a coffee shop. Three dates later, and we were dating. Two years later, we were happily engaged. He was everything to me, and I couldn’t ask for more.

It was finally my wedding day, and I couldn’t be more excited. My outfit was pure white, accentuating my best features. It took a long time to find, but I couldn’t be more pleased with how I turned out. Xavier stood at the overhang, smiling brightly at me as I walked down the aisle, tears lining his eyes.

I grinned happily and made my way up, my eyes scanning the crowd every now and then, taking in the familiar people. The wedding was in Beacon Hills, my childhood home and somewhere I hoped to stay for the rest of my life. I softly pressed my hand in Xavier’s as I made it up, his thumb rubbing over my hand soothingly.

Vows were exchanged quietly, and I couldn’t help the bright smile that filled my face as he proclaimed his love. He was the one for me, and I knew it. He was my anchor, my lover, and my best friend. I didn’t want anything more.

“You may now kiss,” the preacher said, and Xavier quickly bent down to press his lips to mine, grinning brightly as we sealed the deal.

“I love you so much,” he whispered as we pulled away, both of us listening to the wild cheering and clapping.

“I love you too.”

The night passed by quickly, and I found myself in front of Lydia and Malia, the two chatting animatedly to me. Lydia had her arm wrapped around Stiles who had congratulated me multiple times through the ceremony. He had always been one of my favorite people here, and I was ecstatic to hear about his new job in the FBI. Lydia had made a name for herself in the fashion industry while Malia worked with animals, a physical therapy of sorts.

The night was going amazing until _he_ arrived. Of course, I invited him. I didn’t want to leave him out, even with how we ended. He was still a friend, though not a close one. He showed up, obviously disheveled, and it looked like he had been crying. My worry spiked, but I didn’t have much time to think about it before I was dragged away toward the cake, left to listen to what he was talking about with my enhanced hearing.

“I miss her, Stiles. You don’t understand. I don’t know why you dragged me here.”

“Because _you made a mistake_ , but you’re still her friend, and you need to support her no matter what.”

I saw Scott look down with sad eyes from my periphial vision.

“I messed up so bad. I should be the one to hold her. I should be the one to marry her, have a long life with her.”

“Well,” Lydia butted in, rolling her eyes, “you’re not going to get that. Do you know how bad you messed her up? It was your fault, and we’re not going to give you sympathy for it. Let her have a good wedding. She doesn’t need this. She deserves a happy life after all that she’s been through.”

Scott sighed and nodded, his eyes still following me as I danced with my husband, trying not to step on his feet. Xavier bent down to whisper softly in my ear, so low that even the supernatural wouldn’t be able to hear. Only me. “I hear him too, but please don’t leave me.”

“I would never leave you,” I mumbled, hugging him tighter. “I love you and only you. I was with him a long time ago, but I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I love _you_.”

Xavier grinned and kissed me softly. “As I love you.”

The last thing I heard before I left that night was a soft “she deserves this” from Scott.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEEDBACK IS SO APPRECIATED

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is so greatly appreciated


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